guyrocks
Fragility
So, I was
sitting, or, I guess standing in worship tonight and I realized
something really cool about myself. I am fragile.
Everything about me is on the brink of collapsing into a big ball of
nothingness. I think that's pretty cool. More than that
though, I realized that this whole idea I call Christianity, and how I
live it is extremely fragile. I realized tonight that I break
very easily under the weight of what God's called me to. I was
thinking about that a lot and just kind of how scary and yet totally
cool a place like that is. The best way for me to describe it is
the difference between an old dead stick and one that's still attached
to the tree. It takes very little weight for the dead stick to
snap, very little pressure in fact. Yet, the stick that's still
alive can usually hold considerably more weight. As I am thinking
about that now it's a real awesome metaphor because a lot of the time I act like a dead stick...especially where God is concerned. I let myself get in the way of God and suck the life right out of me and that usually leads to some major downfall. But I've noticed that as I continue to live for God; the more and more weight I can hold, it's like the me that wants to get my way bends and bends and bends as God presses in to me. That's my thought about God. I really want to be fully alive, full of life, whatever God wants. I've been really enjoying how these past few months have really been extreme growth, especially about what a relationship with Christ is. Everything finally fits, I liked that the most about tonight. Everything finally started to fit, I am finally beginning to understand more of who I am, how I think, and what makes me react and I love it. Postmodernism is where it's at. Wow, what a thought, a post-modern conservative...who'd a thunk it. One of the other things I really enjoyed about tonight was the discussion that happened after our Young Adults service. I thought it was really cool that there was a bunch of different discussions going on about what we talked about tonight! That was really cool to me because I really felt like the topic was connecting with people and they were reacting to it. It was great, I am going to raid Nathan's office for some books on emerging church and postmodernism. That'll be fun.
I love desk.
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